Don’t Waste Time

In Zen temples and monasteries, there are many musical instruments that are used to let people know what is happening without having to look or speak. There are bells to tell the time, or to let people know to expect an upcoming event, like sitting or walking meditation. There are drums to signal important ceremonies or meals. But the most commonly found instrument is the han, a wooden block that is used to invite people to come to the zendo for practice.

The han is a thick piece of wood that hangs from two ropes and is struck with a wooden mallet in a particular pattern that monks can learn in order to know how soon they need to be on their cushions in the zendo. It is also inscribed with a message reminding practitioners of the preciousness of this human life and urging them to wake up and not to waste time. As one of my teachers in the past said, “If you don’t plan to awaken in this lifetime, when do you plan to do it?”

This is really something to reflect on. Back when I first started Zen practice, I was in my 20’s and time seemed to stretch out before me indefinitely. Now I’m in my 60’s and all I see is impermanence everywhere around me. And it’s shocking to me the way my vision has changed, but I guess that’s the perspective of age. Here in Yellowstone, you can see that even the land–which normally seems like a stable backdrop to our active human lives–is alive and changing. Climate change washed out the North Entrance Road three years ago, necessitating the building of a new road. Scientists found a new thermal feature in the Norris Geyser Basin this season. And even the Grand Loop Road is beginning to sink along with the side of the mountain just outside of Tower Falls. Soon, maybe even next year, it will become impassable.

And the geological changes are just the backdrop to the changes that can happen in a single life. Within just the past six years, I’ve survived ovarian cancer, and we’ve all survived a global pandemic that completely transformed our way of life for the better part of two years. Don’t waste time. I’ve buried both my parents, settled their estates, and found new homes for all of their treasured belongings. Don’t Waste Time. And even now, on my working vacation of a lifetime, I’ve broken my ankle and am stuck in a boot for 4-6 weeks, leaving me with just a few weeks at the end of the season left to hike and explore. But I’m so grateful that I got in some whitewater rafting, horseback riding, and 72 miles of backcountry hiking before this unfortunate incident. DON’T WASTE TIME!

So what is wasting time? Zen teachings are not too specific about this, for a reason: wasting time differs from person to person and situation to situation. But generally, it involves engaging in thoughts and activities that do not lead to waking up to your life. Things that help neither you nor others. Even something that seems conducive to waking up, like sitting zazen, can be used in the service of wasting time. Are you using zen practice to hide from your life? Only you can determine that, but anytime we hide from important events, people, or other beings who depend on our presence in their lives, we may be wasting time. Moreover, if you are taking care of others at the expense of neglecting yourself, that might be another form of wasting time. Others are not more important than oneself, and we have a responsibility to both. So even things like watching TV (which can be part of resting), brushing your teeth, or having fun are not necessarily wasting time. In short, both wasting time and waking up cannot be measured by outside indicators; they’re something you have to feel and discern. And this depends in part upon your attitude toward your own particular life and your surroundings.

But I can think of a few ways I’ve wasted time recently. For instance, sometimes the circumstances in my life dictate that I am stuck in a bar somewhere eating dinner and watching golf on TV. What a waste! This is not contributing to my life or anyone else’s and personally, I hate golf. But if you really want to waste both time and money, Montana is the place to be. Because out here, Everything Is A Casino! Conveniently located at gas stations, convenience stores, bars, and restaurants. Not to mention the many free-standing casinos that dot the landscape. I have nothing against gambling or anyone who enjoys it. For you, this may not be such a waste. For me, I just really don’t like to lose money! And it’s so easy to get sucked into the flashing lights and bells and completely lose an entire afternoon. Or several. Give me an inviting forest trail any day.

We are coming to the point where we will have to plan out our next steps. Certainly we will return to Chicago, most likely after traveling for a month or so to see family and friends in other parts of the country. But where will we go next? Right now that’s anyone’s guess. And what will we do? For me, I plan to prioritize the same things as last year: physical fitness, adventure, and time for reflection and practice. Opportunities to explore a new landscape and delve into study about its history, along with my own. And hopefully opportunities to pass on a little of what I’ve learned and am still learning. Because this life is short and getting shorter all the time. And the closer I get to its eventual end, the more carefully I want to pay attention to what remains.

“Time waits for no one at all. No, not even you.”
–The Moody Blues, Driftwood